Episode 25: How to Set House Rules for your Social Media Accounts
This may not be exactly what you think it is, so don’t skip this.
I found a new concept and term called “social boundaries” from following some amazing interior design / home blogger folks - specifically: Shavanda Gardner @sgardnerstyle, Medine @grillodesigns, and more recently Annika of @VictorianAdventure.
I have never come across this concept in any other sphere or industry on social media, but I immediately had a sense of energy and connection when I realized what it was and I watched these women create, break down, and follow their social boundaries.
READY FOR THIS?
Social boundaries act as house rules for your social media accounts and encourage common courtesy and thoughtful interaction in comments and specifically DMs.
WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS IN DMS?
No hello, hi, hey or even a YO - no greeting (common courtesy!)
A new DM from someone who has never interacted with you before and they demand to know certain information from you ((i.e. “Where did you get that chair”, “What are your business coaching prices?”
A new DM with no introduction of who the person is
If you wouldn’t walk up to someone on the street and ask where they got their coffee from without even a simple, “Hi, excuse me…” greeting, which is basic human politeness… why do we insist, allow, or think this is okay to do on social media?
WHAT THIS LOOKS LIKE IN PRACTICE
If you’ve DMed me recently, you may have noticed that I’ve responded back with a Hi or Hello and your first name
Then I’ve answered the question or responded to your comment
And maybe followed up with a closing
It’s creating healthy boundaries around respectful behavior and how you want, and deserve to be treated as a human.
The internet, while wonderful, fun, and hugely helpful for business and cultivating community and friendships, also often creates a sense of isolation, that the person on the other side of the account isn’t someone with feelings. That, rather, that person is Google or Siri, there to spit out information or do your work for you. There can be a sense of entitlement when it comes to DMs and social interactions that removes a human element of respect.
So…. without further ado, I’m introducing my own version of social boundaries and will be rolling them out on all of my accounts. They are essentially - my house rules for interacting with me on social media. What I expect from YOU when you come to ME. This is what that will look like….
PART 1 - Social Interaction Boundaries
GREETING - I LOVE Instagram and I love interacting and talking with followers and building community. But I also love common courtesy’s like Hello or Hi when starting up a conversation - especially if we don’t message frequently, don’t know each other in real life, or it’s a new day. If you say HI to your group of friends when you get together or have a phone call, then do it in a DM.
INTRODUCE YOURSELF - If we’ve NEVER interacted - I’d love to know who you are! How did you find me? What’s our connection? If you wouldn’t send an email to someone new without saying those things, don’t do it in a DM.
DO YOUR WORK - If you’re asking for a link to something, want to purchase a class, or course, are curious about what someone’s wearing, doing or eating - chances are that person probably has links to that thing in their bio, or on their website. It’s a simple click or search. People who use Instagram for business put a LOT of work and effort into making it easy for YOU as a consumer to find things. Before you DM and ask your question - click through what they already have up. THEN and only then, should you ask - because then it might be something they’ve been meaning to do and it will help other people as well. Long and short - don’t be lazy and expect the person on the other end of the DM to go to their own website to send you the very obvious link that you just asked about.
NOW - let me finish this out with some disclaimers since this is NEW and it takes time to get used to it because it is counter culture to how the internet has trained us. And I want to say that I don’t believe people are trying to be rude per say - but we’ve been trained that this is acceptable, and this is an untraining - at least in my corner of the internet if you stick around.
Instagram can be a community - and if you want it to be that, then you need to treat it as such.
I will be talking about these Social Boundaries frequently, gently reminding people in DM’s, saving this to my highlights, and leading by example.
And I MAY GET IT WRONG MYSELF.
I KNOW we all get hype on Instagram and react to those stories that get us going. I have done this TWICE with Shavonda and then had to backpedal, apologize for not respecting her house rules and go back and introduce myself and say hello.
BUT - this is my platform, my account, my house, my rules. If you’re down to be a cool, basic, thoughtful human being, welcome. If that’s not how you want to interact, then cool. You know how to unfollow.
So hello, hi, my name is Sydney Bass, I love Instagram, and these are my social boundaries.
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